Tough

In the last week I've gone from "My mom is wicked healthy" to "My mom is having chest pains?" to "My mom is having a triple bypass?!". Suffice to say that in the last 24 hours I have experienced more terror, joy, tenderness and frustration than ever before. I've also learned that real badass steps up when things are more awful than I ever imagined possible. I told TMOTH yesterday that I'm not strong enough to be this strong.

Today I learned just how strong I can be. For the record, it sucked ass.

Stop Spinning

http://www.mommaspearls.com/2011/10/out-of-hands.html

The world can get crazy, you know?  Not just the Great Big World, but also the little (but sometimes equally big) worlds we each inhabit.  It's not hard to get overwhelmed when we're trying to spin 10- or 100- plates at once.  Is it any wonder that things fall apart from time to time, leaving us standing, confused and dismayed in a pile of china shards?  I've spent years trying to keep them all spinning at an equal rate- kids, house, PTA, work, garden, vanity- and here's the thing I'm thinking:

Once you know what plates really matter, the rest of them can go to hell.

So instead of spinning all 1,000 plates, I'm going to spin one really well.  My kids and my darling TMOTH are the ones that matter most.  My work is a second, but only insofar as it lets me take care of them.  The rest of it?  I'm not spinning them anymore.  I'm going to sit them gently on the counter where I can get to them if I need them.  I'm going to let them serve me instead of the other way around.

But I'm done with all the spinning.  It makes me nauseous.